in the clouds

Today was an intense day...Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson passed away...I have been very depressed. MJ is one of my icons and heros today and I am sad beyond belief. I pray that his family stays strong and can get through this. On another note....I miss my baby Ryan. We had such an amazing night last night at his house...I could relive it over and over again. He makes my heart smile and I miss him so much right now....although I saw him last night and had another incredible evening with him and spoke with him many times today...it still doesn't compare to holding him in my arms and telling him how much I love being with him. I see so many great things in the future and his love for his boys melts my heart. When he speaks to me and stares into my eyes I see his soul and I can't help but smile when I am with him. My head has been in the clouds for days and I can't grasp reality because I am so in awe at the moment. I feel like someone needs to slap me across the face and wake me up right now because I am crazy head over heels. I look forward to seeing my baby tomorrow and embracing our moments together. Wow.....its for real :)